IT


I’m scared.

I know it’s there, it’s always there.

It’s everywhere.

It’s real.

It’s big and small.

And hot and cold.

It’s so heavy, it suffocates.

Like a knife, it penetrates.

I try to run, but there’s nowhere to hide.

It’s right here, right inside.

I try to see, but it blocks my sight.

With all my strength, I try to fight.

I lay awake

and hope and dream

but it’s not going away,

It’s here to stay.

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Come back to write


I knock on the door

oh, so slowly

Do I really want to let myself back into this world?

I need it.

The voice.

The words are still there

It’s my choice.

Do I let my soul cry out through the page?

Should i drown my sorrows in the prose?

It has been so long,

Will the lyric reveal itself?

I just hold the pen,

I close my eyes,

The words inside

begin to dive,

Straight to the page,

My heart. My life.

I write.

They are hot as they fall


 

They are hot as they fall

They betray me as they call

I know I have faith

But I don’t want to have the strength

My heart breaks with every drop

Everything feels like a flop

It’s not important

Doesn’t serve the greater good

Only special to me

I want to let it go

But I can’t.

I know what i believe

But I doubt

All the things that have passed

All the things that went right

How could it not be a part of the plan?

How could this not be in his plan?

Why do I want it so much?

I cannot see any growth or gain from it

But my heart will not let it be

My heart may be the most deceptive

But my mind is in agreement this time

Is it true:

Am I not thinking clearly?

Is my choice to believe a vain child’s fantasy?

Has all my faith being wrongly placed?

Was it always just meant to be a dream?

They get hotter as they fall

Anger, pain mixed with disappointment

And a familiar voice tells me to be patient and not to give up

And I am again reminded of all the things

All the little miracles that fell perfectly into place

I want to be happy, to express my joy

But I also want to be sad, express the hurt

Do I accept this?

Or do I continue believing?

Knowing that my blessing knows my name.

But it isn’t important

Doesn’t serve the greater good

Only special to me.

How do I answer all the questions?

How do I face all the faces?

No one can erase all these traces

Of the belief and all the hope filled spaces.

They are still hot while they drop

I think I should go get a mop

I Long to write

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I have the emotions and the feelings
I am surrounded by the experiences
I miss the way the words flow out
How the seem to find each other
How they rhyme and blend
Like raindrops with rhythm as they hit the page

I miss the uncertainty
The suspense…
Watching the sentences form in my mind and fill a page
Like a wild-fire starting up slow and gaining confidence
Moving further and engulfing everything in its flames
I need to let out the words
Ignite this page with my inspired thoughts

I want to spend myself in the sport
Let my mind run wild
Race though all the faces and characters
Fall in love with new plots
Spoil myself in imagination
Breathe new life to new stories

My palms itch as they sweat
Excitement creeps through my veins
I can feel it…
Hear them come….

Beautiful.
Complete.
Mine.

I write

When I fall in love

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When I fall in love I hope it feels like being on roller skates. Where it’s all excitement. There’s a possibility of falling but you still skating because you can’t let go of the rush. Where your heart is beating so fast your brain starts flying. Where there is fear that you might fall but there is equal strength to get up if you do. Where it takes one step to move forward then you just let go and let it flow. Then when it flows, everything else falls away, there is no more worries. All that is felt is You and the Rush.

My rainbow

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I tell you everyday

You know this is true

That the Lord God is my sunshine after the rain

My morning sun, clear and new

But you, my darling, are my rainbow

With its beautiful colors, even blue

That reminds me of His promises

Every day, the whole day through

 

You put a smile of my heart

You make me laugh from within

You make my whole world

Feel like the best dream

I love you up, I love you down

I love you even when I frown

For you are my brilliant rainbow

In whose colors I drown

 

In your colors let me shine

You make me feel the world is mine

In your sight

My life is bright

What more could I ask for?

You alone I adore

All I can see, you are my rainbow

The very reason that I glow

 

 

Our Songs


You made me breathless as you sang

On the phone all night saying

You hang up, no you hang up

Knowing

I said I loved you but I lied

Since I’m trapped

In these steel bars

Thinking the best resolve

Is to go back to one and

Keep on walking

For I begged you

Don’t break my heart

Because I can’t help

Falling in love with you.

It was after I knew

There gotta be somebody

That I realized

I love it when you do

What you do and

I’m so into you

Asking who do you tell

That dreams come true

And this love

Is unbreakable

But still I wondered

If I let you go

How can we be lovers

If we can’t be happy friends

When you keep me

Flying without wings?

Amazing, if I didn’t know better

I would make you mine

And ask you to be

My love