They are hot as they fall

They betray me as they call

I know I have faith

But I don’t want to have the strength

My heart breaks with every drop

Everything feels like a flop

It’s not important

Doesn’t serve the greater good

Only special to me

I want to let it go

But I can’t.

I know what i believe

But I doubt

All the things that have passed

All the things that went right

How could it not be a part of the plan?

How could this not be in his plan?

Why do I want it so much?

I cannot see any growth or gain from it

But my heart will not let it be

My heart may be the most deceptive

But my mind is in agreement this time

Is it true:

Am I not thinking clearly?

Is my choice to believe a vain child’s fantasy?

Has all my faith being wrongly placed?

Was it always just meant to be a dream?

They get hotter as they fall

Anger, pain mixed with disappointment

And a familiar voice tells me to be patient and not to give up

And I am again reminded of all the things

All the little miracles that fell perfectly into place

I want to be happy, to express my joy

But I also want to be sad, express the hurt

Do I accept this?

Or do I continue believing?

Knowing that my blessing knows my name.

But it isn’t important

Doesn’t serve the greater good

Only special to me.

How do I answer all the questions?

How do I face all the faces?

No one can erase all these traces

Of the belief and all the hope filled spaces.

They are still hot while they drop

I think I should go get a mop