There are so many words to choose from to say what I have to say while i want to say it.
Life’s mystery is more than just existence. It is in communication.
How do we really know we are saying what we really mean?
Just like a dream
You’re born in me
Your tear my heart
You make me free
I’m writing about this guy I met. And loved, And left. But he stayed. Never to far, and stole my heart to keep in a jar. So by his side, I will stay, I now know, forever it will be so.
When I fall in love I hope it feels like being on roller skates. Where it’s all excitement. There’s a possibility of falling but you still skating because you can’t let go of the rush. Where your heart is beating so fast your brain starts flying. Where there is fear that you might fall but there is equal strength to get up if you do. Where it takes one step to move forward then you just let go and let it flow. Then when it flows, everything else falls away, there is no more worries. All that is felt is You and the Rush.
I tell you everyday
You know this is true
That the Lord God is my sunshine after the rain
My morning sun, clear and new
But you, my darling, are my rainbow
With its beautiful colors, even blue
That reminds me of His promises
Every day, the whole day through
You put a smile of my heart
You make me laugh from within
You make my whole world
Feel like the best dream
I love you up, I love you down
I love you even when I frown
For you are my brilliant rainbow
In whose colors I drown
In your colors let me shine
You make me feel the world is mine
In your sight
My life is bright
What more could I ask for?
You alone I adore
All I can see, you are my rainbow
The very reason that I glow
You made me breathless as you sang
On the phone all night saying
You hang up, no you hang up
I said I loved you but I lied
Since I’m trapped
In these steel bars
Thinking the best resolve
Is to go back to one and
Keep on walking
For I begged you
Don’t break my heart
Because I can’t help
Falling in love with you.
It was after I knew
There gotta be somebody
That I realized
I love it when you do
What you do and
I’m so into you
Asking who do you tell
That dreams come true
And this love
But still I wondered
If I let you go
How can we be lovers
If we can’t be happy friends
When you keep me
Flying without wings?
Amazing, if I didn’t know better
I would make you mine
And ask you to be
I write because it is my voice
The reason to live is my choice
I write because it is my path
I live and breathe and then and laugh
I write because it is my sign
That between life and death there is a line
I write because it is my road
To Jesus Christ my heart is sold
I write because it is my world
With love and joy my heart He’s filled
I write because it is my right
And Jesus came to give me sight
I write because it is my calling
Everyday although I’m falling
I write because it is my gift
To He who came to die for me
And set me free
What is worth your anything?
Is it that love that so many long for?
Is it world peace?
Or maybe world-wide salvation??
The problem I am faced with is simple in it complexity, how do what I will give anything for when I don’t know what I want? To give your everything you need to want something in return.
Sure, I want world peace, love and everyone to know the saviour… But what do I want??
How do figure it out? Where on this path that I was taking, did I get so lost that I forgot where I was going?
People say the journey is more important than the destination, but what motivates the one who lacks a vision? Where is the hope for the one that has nothing to hope for?
I need to keep chasing. Lost in an effort of self-realization. What dream am I chasing when I have nothing to dream.
There was a time, when I knew what I wanted, when I had a goal and vision. And I followed, fought and worked to get it. Then life in it brutality sneaked in and messed it up. Now my brain is filled with confusion. Didn’t just lose my footing, lost my purpose.
What is next? Where do I go from here?
WHAT DO I WANT?
Pain is hard to deal with in every circumstance. Your pain hurts my very core. No flirting fancy in romance. But distance in its ferocity has stolen my capability of eliminating your melancholy. But even in its vastness, I can still feel your throbbing agony. All I want to do is put my arms around you. Hold you tight and with my might try to make your plight lighter. I know neither your grief I can take nor the incident can I erase. But I want to be there to wipe your tears and ease your fears and use my words like comfort shears.
Misery like fire burning through you
One of life’s many ills
And all I wonder
Is there really a cure?
No one cause can be named
Loss to confusion and despair
All may be the trigger and result
Are you defeated?
Darkness that surrounds you
Whispers of wishes untold choke you
All the opportunities and paths he may have walked past
Scream as your heart betrays you
Some many question torment you
Of events you cannot change
And the misery cements you
In grief you cannot exchange
I feel so helpless in this period when you need me the most. I want to be there for you. No answers do I hold. Nor can I send forth your words untold. I will not let the distance stop me, from trying to make you feel better. I just pray for the Holy Spirit to hold you close with comfort and I wait for you to speak knowing I’m here to listen.
Like a virus
You corrupted my heart
Swept right through
Rendering my brain incapable of thought
Any thought beyond you
My hands shake
My heart beats faster
I’m taking shorter breaths
I want to scream
But I’m stuck
Shattered pieces all around me
Fear of reoccurrence holds me back
Time mends wounds
But time though like glue
Cannot prevent a similar disaster
Walls are there
But they were there before
But like fences you turned them
Built a gate and walked in
Proved it possible
The audience is broken into two
Opposite in their judgment
Both with the best motives
But are they just the audience
Or is their love stronger and wiser
And if so which side is right
My heart has never had a real voice
But I’m not sure it’s just because i trust my brain more
My brain is just safer
Rational has always better than emotional
It doesn’t hurt as much
Not as much effort or investment
Though that does make it right either
So confused i sit alone
Thinking of you, i watch the phone
Like an addict waiting for another fix
Though i know this little pleasure isn’t worth the risk
I can’t seem to stop myself
I wish i could run away fast
As far from you as i can get
But hidden in parts of my life i cannot lose
You stay tucked away
Where you can pop up
Always when I’m most vulnerable
[ts not done yet…. but this is a draft, please let me know what you think, thanks]
I never was one for falling in love. I never thought I was one to fall repeatedly anyway. I imagined I’d meet him and I’d know. He’d be my first, my last…my everything. I suppose to some extent I was right.
He’d be the first to make non-sense out of my ordered ideas about love. He’d be the first to submerge me into confusion and still give me a drowning need for more. He’d be the first person to pull me into the unknown and I’d follow gladly, for something familiar without him would leave me stranded. You see, it was wonderful being pulled out of my self-pity and doubt but pretending they weren’t a part of me is much harder than just acknowledging their part in my life. Yes, he’d be the first to help me make a party of my life as a celebration to all things me…flaws…
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